I sit in this room, coated with the unforgotten memories and sorrow; suffocating in the consuming atmosphere. I have been encrypted for one purpose. Misandry. You wanted me to crush men's hearts like they crushed yours. You moulded me into a weapon; a dangerous one of course. You were always there. Handling me like a marionette, controlled to do your behest. You've raised me up to become this insidious predator… did you ever love me?
I ask myself time and time again; am I worth anything? Am I commendable of Pip's sweet love? Oh my mellifluous Pip. When I think of him, my congealed heart defrosts that tiny bit. That tiny spark is enough though… enough to break your curse.
I perch here in this house, I remember all them years long ago when you set my first mission. Pip was my mission. He was my prey. I tortured that child like a little ant on a hill, hunted by a magnifying glass. Bless his unfortunate soul.
I wonder… when you looked upon me, was I Estella? Or you? Havisham is my name, you've made our hearts identical. Glacial. Bitter. No one belongs in my heart. There was no need to look in the mirror for I was your reflection. I lived for what you desired.
What is this new feeling pulsating within me; could this be vulnerability? Why do I feel this, why is it I've not known this before? My immunity to this feeling has come to a halt. You mechanically made me to not feel certain feelings, however you did not succeed. Could it be my heart is not as depraved as I would have thought? Or is it that Pip has rescued me from forever coldness… I do not know.