The Hermit Life
-How do I feel about myself and my family?
America promises free speech and the right to your own opinion but when it comes down to it many just don’t want to hear it. Your words mean nothing, and your feelings are unwanted. So As an individual growing up in a society as such, I like many other keep my feelings to myself. It is rare when I voice my own thoughts about a subject. Not because I don’t have any but because I fear the ridicule that follows them. I, despite my outer décor, am what most would call emotional hermit, someone who keeps their emotions tightly wounds and to them self. “The mind can weave itself warmly in the cocoon of its own thoughts.”
When describing one’s self I feel its necessary to know where they came from and in my case it was divorce. My child hood was filled with tears, devastation, and longing for my parents happiness. Its said that a divorce can emotionally cripple a child And In many cases I was. It wasn’t hard to spot the misery in my face, I can even see through past photos of my smiling self. Despite the smile, my eyes seemed to be glassy and blank in numerous pictures. My parents were concerned and like every concerned parent the wished to fix their broken children. Their solution was counseling I didn’t want any counseling, the way I saw it was the therapist that I was seeing was reading in to the situation too much. She made me feel uncomfortable, I was shy as is and
confessing to her was not in the cards for me. I knew she was talking to my parents about what we would discus during out sessions so it got to the point to where I would just lie to her. I didn’t want my feelings out in the unforgiving open. This is a perfect Example of me now, maybe only now I’m a bit more watered down then my angst days as a child. I find my personality a bit `
blander then I would like it to be. I feel that my life has taken a total on it like, when looking back at myself I wish I could have been able...